01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
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just to make sure we all have this straight i completely and totally support gay marriage. i'm not trying to offend anyone i just think this is funny and true.
found it in the notes of a friend on FB.








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Senior Member | Smurf Master
FAQ #565: You prohibit the submission of 'pornographic imagery'; what do you consider this to be?
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[link]
Are you feeling Impulsive? ~_=
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"that chapstick is new, completely organic- and there normally 3.69 but with the 1 dollar coupon there like......2.69!"
-walgreens makeup counter salesperson who seriously had to think about that one...
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Insert witty, edgy signature here.
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I'm a neutrois; I am not an androgyne. Please respect the difference.
I prefer Ey (he/she), Em (him/her), Eir (his/her), Eirs (his/hers), and Emself (himself/herself).
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"In the end only love matters...
It is love that brought the universe into being
and it is love that will transform it...
Love is the Alchemist of the soul."
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"that chapstick is new, completely organic- and there normally 3.69 but with the 1 dollar coupon there like......2.69!"
-walgreens makeup counter salesperson who seriously had to think about that one...
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